5 Keys to Embracing Your Own Personal Lovelution
It’s been longer than expected since you have heard from me, 32 days to be exact, yet who’s counting 😉 Although this may not bode well for my consistency, the reality is that my silence both in the blogosphere and on social media has been due to the desire to turn inward and be present with my wife, dog, and family both in everyday life and while I was on vacation, especially since it was the last, or at least for the foreseeable future, weeklong paid vacation.
As I mentioned in my last post, I’m grateful for the balance I currently have between stability and
flexibility, yet as the countdown begins until my current job ends and my dream job begins, I have felt a distinct mindset shift that aligns with the LOVELUTION that started weeks ago with the launch of the redesigned Jillybeads’ website. In particular, I’m using my own life and experience to test out my theory of change of using LOVE to transform our heart, soul, and mind in life, family, community/network, and society.
What does this look like?
I can best describe it as a mindset shift. One that has gradually been happening over the last year and is now crystalizing with the undeniable power of two life transitions colliding that cannot be ignored—my job ending at what will be the start of my third trimester. Furthermore, as I focus on creating two products to beta-test this fall, which will focus on exploring identity and its intersectionality—what I dub the “authentic sweet spot,” I’m fully embracing the shift in my own identity. While I recognize my unique period of transition, I do believe the mindset shift I am experiencing can be universally applied.
What follows are 5 Keys to Embracing Your Own Personal Lovelution:
- Inward Love is the Foundation to Outwardly Love. Love is defined as “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.” What I believe this definition fails to mention is that to know and understand love, it should begin with you. For this reason, I prefer Brené Brown’s definition of love from, The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are…
“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them—we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.”
By knowing ourselves, we can each love ourselves. This knowing is digging deep to the center—your heart’s desire—to uncover not only who you are based on your identity and experiences, yet also how you want to feel as you move through the world. This understanding is a life-long process and exploration, best liken to a roller-coaster with highs, twist and turns, and dips along the way. It’s on this ride that you begin to understand who you are and find your voice.
Though much easier said then done, I find positive self-talk and weekly mantras (e.g. my current one: “Flow with the river…”) to be the most helpful in moving me forward on this journey.
- Listen to Your Body. With the daily changes happening to my body along with feeling Baby Z moving and grooving throughout the day, my body awareness has only increased. Nonetheless, this is where my self-love mantra has been helpful.Over the years, I’ve learned that it’s in my nature to go-go-go and constantly be thinking about what I should be doing next. My body and Baby Z, in particular, have other plans. This is where I have to trust in the flow of my body and listen to the signals it’s giving me about when to slow down, stop, or rest. While the athlete in me knows how to push through, I’m honoring that this is not the time to do so. As such, I have been able to better tune into what I need both physically and emotionally.
- Be Present in the Moment. I love the power of social media, yet in many ways it has changed how we experience the world. Check-in here. Take a photo there and then upload it asap. All in an effort to stay connected and let others know our current status. Now there’s no judgment in these actions. This was once my reality; however, now I find myself taking a step back from this space to redefine my relationship with its existence, which is definitely connected to #1 and #2 above. While I recognize this will be different for everyone, I highly recommend exploring this self-inquiry into your own use of social media. Most importantly, so you can enjoy life as it’s happening and post later. Hence, why my favorite hashtag is #latergram!
- Love Creates Freedom. When you open your heart first to yourself and then to others the walls organically come crumbling down. As bell hooks states,
“The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others.”
What can you do today to offer yourself more love? What act of love will help liberate you? What can you do in the week ahead to grow and nurture your self-love? Just something to ponder…
- With Freedom Comes Responsibility. This one is ringing more and more true these days. While I have been focusing on my core desired feeling of Luminous Liberty and creating a vision to make this a reality, I am also recognizing that it comes with responsibility. By becoming my own boss/leader, I will be regaining my power and decision-making abilities. As such, I will be accountable to my clients/customers, you (Team Justice), and myself but also to my wife and our bank account, which at times can be a bit overwhelming. Despite the fact that this freedom comes with a risk, I recognize that to be successful that I must be accountable for my decisions and actions. The good news is that I’m ready to take this challenge on because this is my time to make my vision of changing the world a reality by living and working it everyday. Although this example is specific to my current situation, I encourage you to consider ways that you too can be accountable to yourself or others as you regain or take back your power.
These 5 Keys to Embracing Your Own Personal Lovelution is what makes up the “Advocate” component of the Jillybeads 4 Justice mission: Authenticity + Love + Freedom = Being Courageously Bold, which aids in knowing your heart’s desire while understanding and finding your authentic voice. This path of self-advocacy continues with education and the guiding principal that Identity + Intersectionality + Unlearning Privilege = Social Justice.
At the very least, this is my current thinking, so I’d love to hear your thoughts or questions below in the comments.
P.S. Do you know someone who could benefit from this post? Please share 🙂
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Lovelution: A Journey to Self ♥ is a memoir being written week-by-week as I take bite-sized + deliberate action each Tuesday toward my writing dreams as I reflect on my journey of using love + intention to create the life I dream and deserve.
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