Category: Take Action Tuesday (page 1 of 3)

Lesson 11: You are the Mama (Guardian) of Your Soul

♥ Part of the Series 35 Lessons at 35 Years of Life ♥

With a commitment for bite-sized + deliberate action today, tomorrow, and every day that I keep putting one foot in front of the other to create what I believe in.

♥   ♥   ♥

Have you ever considered that you are your soul’s keeper?

The holder of your essence, the magic composition that is you.

The one who can open you up to your uniquely you inner knowing.

The one you can depend on, who will hold your heart on the darkest nights.

The one who can teach you, how to walk your own path.

The guardian of your soul.

♥   ♥   ♥

As I shared in Lesson 10: Identity is Nurtured, it has taken the first half of my 30s to learn that we/I am the guardian of my soul. To learn this lesson, it was my job and mine alone. In fact, it’s each of our jobs to learn how to love ourselves. No one else’s.

While most of us can say, or at least we hope, came into the world loved, we often spend a lifetime journeying home to what’s been inside of us all along. This is to say regardless of our experience with love as a child, it’s our job to uncover for ourselves what makes us tick, what makes us whole, and how we can love, nurture, and accept who we are from the inside out.

To choose to lead with our identity front and center. Yet, first, this needed to happen (or least it did for I)…

Step 1: Name Your Inner Critic

The very first business workshop I attended was when I learned of the concept that we each have an inner critic. The voice (or choir, which is often the case) that calls for perfection to meeting others expectations, as well as our own and pushes our buttons like only someone who knows you best can.

That’s why I think it’s essential that to love ourselves the way we dream and deserve that we must first name the voice of perfection that’s being that gossipy group of critics. Your personal panel of pundits. A representative caucus of all the commentators, backseat drivers, and judges that tap into your fear and countless rejection you’ve experienced in your lifetime.

Yolanda was my first named critic, Yo-Yo for short because that’s how she makes me feel. There’s a lot I could say about her, like any dear friend in terms of the good, bad and ugly. I’ll focus on the good, right now. Yo-Yo is currently on vacay. Yep, you read that right. Her antics got so out of control that I informed her that I would buy her a one-way airplane ticket to anywhere in the world. This permission slip for my soul made it easy to then move to…

Step 2: Self-Compassion is an Act of Self-Love

In my own journey of learning to love myself, I can recall countless times when I allowed my inner critic, Yo-Yo to be my decision-maker. As Adichie shares in her new book, Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions, “‘Allow’ is a troubling word. ‘Allow’ is about power.” That said, I can clearly see now because hindsight is 20/20, right?

I had given Yo-Yo permission to take the wheel. With Yo-Yo in the driver’s seat, I then found myself striving for perfection, someone else’s way, or being harder on myself than those who love me most would EVER be. In January 2013, when I began exploring how I wanted to feel instead of creating more lists of what I wanted to accomplish, compassion was one of the many words that I explored.

What began as an experience of feeling “sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it,” which makes sense I am an ENFJ, “The Giver,” soon became a dance of doing so for myself, for my heart, for the 3-year-old inside of me as I watch my own almost 3-year-old daughter. This is why I believe self-compassion is an act of love. Because I needed to learn how to give this to myself like I have for all those I love.

Step 3: Self-Care is a MUST (especially when healing)

In my early 20s, I believed self-care was pampering. A massage, mani/pedi, or facial. You know, a spa day?

My relationship to self-care began when my wife and I marked the beginning of our family conception journey. It began with acupuncture to aid with my intense periods with a dream to slowly and methodically decrease my bipolar medication because one thing was for certain–I did not want that medicine in my body when I conceived. This simple act to try something new led to my first commitment to my own personal dose of…

Soul Medicine:   an act or experience that feeds your soul to be present with your essence and inner knowing

Because as Audre Lorde reminds us…

Radical Self-Care is Justice

When I was reminded of this quote for one of my favorite writers, I exclaimed a big Hell YES! This!

Just a reminder I needed that a daily dose of self-preservation is a MUST!  radical Act is no more than bite-sized + deliberate daily action towards the life you dream and deserve.

Now, I recognize that “It’s a Journey, Not a Race” that “Identity is Nurtured” as I’ve embraced the reality that “Coming Out is Not a One Time Event.” As a result of my own journey to Love Myself like a Mother! with Intentional Justice™ this is why I have created this…

Mama J’s Top 5 Restorative Practices: In 5 Minutes or Less…

This is the type of soul medicine that gives YOU permission to be the mama of your soul in our ever-changing 24-hour news and notification cycle. I invite you to try 1 or all 5 in the week ahead to restore andLove Myself like a Mother! with Intentional Justice

Intentional Justice™ in Your Life

Now it’s your turn, as I now invite YOU to consider:

  • What wave are you riding on your journey of self-love?
  • How do you practice radical self-care?
  • Which 5 minute or less restorative practice will you try?

👇 Share your intention for today or the week ahead 👇

It’s one way YOU can take bite-size + deliberate action TODAY 👣✨🌈

In lovelution 💕

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Lesson 5: Create What YOU Believe In

♥ Part of the Series 35 Lessons at 35 Years of Life 

With a commitment for bite-sized + deliberate action today, tomorrow, and every day that I keep putting one foot in front of the other to create what I believe in.


I never imagined being the one to second-guess myself at the 99th hour, yet my worse-case-scenario became reality. We were just over a week away from my two scheduled workshops back in my hometown with only a handful of registered participants. In fact, I was ready to throw in the towel and postpone. So much so that I reached out to my collaborators and asked this, “Tough Q: Do you feel we should still proceed ahead?”

Even so, this is what I truly believed and shared with them, “I stand in this truth: At the end of the day, I know in my heart the right peeps will be in the room and feeling a bit uncertain…”

Even re-typing that I squirm at my resistance as I trail off with uncertainty. Nonetheless, I persisted. The learning in that lesson is for another post…wink, wink 😉 Today’s lesson is about making something out of nothing as the adage goes. Trusting while being lifted up that what you value matters. That there’s a space and place and the right folks ready to grow with you.

However, full transparency. The above was not clear until now, nearly two and half months later. Even as I write this I’m reminded of how far I’ve come in 3-5 years.

You know that favorite interview question: Where do you see yourself in 3 (to/or 5) years?

As I shared in 35 Lessons at 35 Years of Life:

When I turned 30 (in 2012) I launched my first biz—Jillybeads 4 Justice—to pursue my passion for jewelry-making and justice. It was the result of wanting to take a leap in owning the reality that I too, like the organizations I had been employed by, needed to diversify my income streams. To say it has been a journey would be an understatement, more like a roller coaster with all it’s twist and turns and moments of hanging by a thread.

With this perspective, I can more clearly see now that my professional path has been one of continued learning and self-discovery to embrace the intersections of my multi-passion spirit and zones of genius as a love leader, equity + inclusion consultant, and data goddess.

It’s at these intersections that I know I can and will bring my vision and mission wrapped into one to life for each of us to Love Yourself like a Mother! with Intentional Justice™ ♥

📸: @micaymj “Heartland Values” by Sue Kalicki at Nebraska Community Foundation


This is the heart and soul of Mama J. Love Consulting.

It’s with a commitment for bite-sized + deliberate action today, tomorrow, and every day that I keep putting one foot in front of the other to create what I believe in.

Will YOU Join Me?

Lesson 4: The Water Calls Me

Part of the Series: 35 Lessons at 35 Years of Life

If you have a toddler or older, it’s likely you’ve seen Disney’s Moana at least once. If not, I highly recommend it for many feminist-aligned reasons in spite of Disney’s past. Simply put for brevity, they tackle their princess phenomenon with great one liners, while also honoring the power and importance of our ancestors, storytelling, and honoring one’s truth. As such, it’s on looped repeat at my house in 30-45 minute chunks along with the many of the songs, which are requested for our dance parties or car rides.

In I Am Moana (Song of the Ancestors), Moana states…

Who am I?

(sung)

I am a girl who loves my island

And the girl who loves the sea, it calls me…

Ditto, Moana! As a girl who grew-up landlocked with the closest body of water a “person-made” pond or at best a lake, I like Moana have loved the sea, it calls me. Even living in Berkeley, CA less than 3 miles from the San Francisco Bay only partially meets my call. So, what’s a girl to do? 

img_4684.jpgHead to the central coast for two weeks of beach therapy to warm-up (there’s a hard truth to the saying, “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.”) to rest, rejuvenate, and recharge.

 

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The water calls me…

The water calls my wife…

The water calls my daughter…

The water calls our family!

Why does the water call me?

Here’s what I know for sure… 

img_4222.jpgMama Ocean’s rhythm + flow 

A reminder of the ebb + flow

Our natural rhythm.

As I flow with Mama Ocean

She invites I to reset

There’s nothing like it

Calling me.

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In fact, the first opportunity I had to be on the water during my recent Resetting for the Lovelution, I used it to meditate, to sync up with the beautiful rhythm of Mama Ocean. Much surfaced as I rode her waves. Clarity washing over me with rainbow salt water eyes. Dreams rising up while lost in the magic of only being tethered to my boogie board. 

Water has always had this effect on me. An invitation to wash it all away. Reset. Make connection. Called to my Truth. So, I leave you with this to ponder…

Does the water call YOU? If not, what does?

↓  Let me know in the comments below  ↓

In lovelution…

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