Category: #MamaMindset (page 2 of 11)

35 Lessons at 35 Years of Life

35 Years Around the Sun

On Friday, June 9th, the day la Luna was at her fullest, I completed my 35th orbit around the sun. However, I felt the shift begin the Monday preceding my 35th rotation. As I reflect on my last year of life, this particular birthday feels significant. Not only am I now 35, but I am also celebrating 5 years of stepping out on a path of entrepreneurship.

When I turned 30 I launched my first biz—Jillybeads 4 Justice—to pursue my passion for jewelry-making and justice. It was the result of wanting to take a leap in owning the reality that I too, like the organizations I had been employed by, needed to diversify my income streams. To say it has been a journey would be an understatement, more like a rollercoaster with all it’s twist and turns and moments of hanging by a thread.

With this perspective, I can more clearly see now that my professional path has been one of continued learning and self-discovery to embrace the intersections of my multi-passion spirit and zones of genius as a love leader, equity + inclusion consultant, and data goddess focused on a mission, vision, and Mama Mindset Mantra for each of us to Love Yourself like a Mother! with Intentional Justice™ ♥

As such, I feel clarity. I feel expansive. I feel generous. The result…

35 Lessons @ 35

On a quest to write my first book, I have been dreaming off the various ways to tell my story knowing that there’s  teachable lessons in everything we experience. Let’s begin in no particular order or connection to the number:

  1. Start Where You Are
  2. Love Makes a Family
  3. Affirmation is My Love Language
  4. Create What YOU Believe In
  5. Busy & Balance is Bullshit
  6. Ride the Wave: Trust & Surrender
  7. The Path is a Series of Detours
  8. Presence is the Best Present
  9. Everything is Intersectional
  10. Only You Know Your Truth
  11. Persistence is My Superpower
  12. Be Your Own Oxygen Mask
  13. Those Who Know You, Know When You Need Them
  14. Asking, “How do you want to feel?” Changed EVERYTHING
  15. If You Don’t Have Cash to Pay for It, Then You Really Don’t Need It
  16. When You Feel Out of Control, Simply Step Away
  17. Coming Out is NOT simply a One TIme Event
  18. The Dysfunction of Your Family Does Not Define You
  19. Replicating the Behavior You Dislike Gets You Nowhere
  20. It’s a Journey not a Race
  21. There is Always Something to Learn
  22. As a Woman, Knowing When You Ovulate is the Secret to Life Itself
  23. Sometimes Sleep is the Best Reset
  24. The “Woo” Lights the Path to My Intuition
  25. Identity is Nurtured
  26. The Water Calls Me
  27. No One Can Heal You, You Can Only Heal Yourself
  28. Let Love Transform You
  29. Pleasure Increases with Intimacy
  30. You are the Guardian / Mama of Your Soul
  31. Find Your Soul Medicine
  32. Learn Your Cycle Synchronicity
  33. Change Begins with Your Beliefs
  34. Freedom is a Moving Target
  35. Be YOU!

In creating this list of lessons, I realized how much I could write on each one with stories that connect to my past and illuminate action for continued progress. As such, I have decided to expand on each lesson over the next 35 weeks. Providing just the outline I need for…

My Commitment to My Writing Dreams

I can already feel the fierceness rising up as I embark on the next year of life, so I am starting a new weekly practice that involves two of my favorite things writing and action. Because I have personally committed to spending the summer to write my book proposal, which includes 1-2 sample chapters, it’s time that I recommit to more writing time. As such, I will be posting a new blog every Tuesday, which will likely take on many formats: photo collages, video, audio, and downloadable worksheets.

Today, Tuesday, June 13th, marks Week #1 with a new post each week resulting in 52 essays by end of my 35th year of life on Tuesday, June. As I mentioned above, the first 35 posts will expand on each lesson learned with a story or reflection on the past to illuminate desired action for continued progress.

Without further ado, Welcome 2 Take Action Tuesday, where I share more the why behind the revised blog vision.

What do YOU think? What would YOU like to know? Tell me below in the comments

In lovelution…

💋 mama j

Identity: Why the focus?

Take Action Tuesday_Email Header_April17_v.3

As Dimensions Shift, Embracing Love & Compassion:  A Flashback to August 2014 

“If you bring forth that which is within you, what you bring forth will save you.” ~ Gospel of St. Thomas

I can no longer deny or postpone the fact that my job is ending in two and half weeks, transitioning me to full-time self-employment. While I’m trying to enjoy these last weeks of perceived “stability” with the freedom and responsibility ahead, I’m also struck with the simultaneous transition into my third trimester of pregnancy, which brings with it the exhilarating certainty that my focus will solely be on keeping another human alive in just over three months. In other words, I value my roles (what I would now frame as one of many personal dimensions of identity) as a daughter, sister, friend, community builder, and justicepreneur; yet, I find myself turning inward to prepare for my new role as mama. The best metaphor I’ve come up with to express this shift is to say that I can feel the “season” in me changing.  -Via the Jillybeads 4 Justice blog

The truth is that now, over 2 and half years later, I have countless valuable stories to tell, resources to share, and light to shed on my path of Intentional Justice™,  so thanks for joining me one Tuesday at a time… 

❤️💛💚💙💜 L O V E 💜💙💚💛❤️
At the heart of everything I do.
It’s pulsing through my veins.
And, it’s a complicated intersection.
This is the beautiful mosaic of identity I love. Informing the personal and societal stories we tell ourselves and one another that are at the heart of our daily interactions 💕 @mamajlove1


Identity is… 

Who we are (how we show up in the world to ourselves and others) and how we are seen (who the world perceives us to be), as well as the experiences that result have an impact, often defining us.

Identity, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is a close similarity or affinity. In particular, who someone is : the qualities, beliefs, etc., that make a particular person or group different from others.

Identity is the lens that has helped me make sense of who I am and how I view the world. While I came to understand this more philosophically in college and more poignantly in graduate school, my lived reality exposed me to it much earlier. It’s a toss up of which dimension I experienced first—race or gender; yet what is now clear is how I am seen in the world has greatly influenced my experience.

Whether it was being the only one among my peers with nappy hair (something I now take pride in); or wearing a dress the day we had to take cover due to a tornado, giving an older boy the opportunity to take a peak; or having to choose only one box when asked to select my race on my first standardized test, I can now see that identity played a role. As I reflect on my own experiences with identity, numerous personal and societal stories surface.

In fact, just last night I was asked to consider my identity within our mixed-raced family.

I found myself stopped in my tracks based on how someone closest to me described my identity: mixed-raced instead of Black. While both statements are true, the first one never felt like an option until now and the later took years of personal exploration, including an original master’s thesis, to fully embrace. The point is that I was left questioning why I was so fixated on one being wrong and the other right.

Then after a night’s rest, what became clear is that identity is constantly evolving. That both our personal and societal dimensions of self are not fixed. That this often challenging work I’ve defined for myself does not always fit into a nice pretty box. Then I’m reminded that I am not alone in this struggle. And, the struggle and challenge is where the learning happens.

“You’re learning all the time. Life is teaching you all the time.” @AniPemaChodron

As I fully embrace that I have and continue to live this content, I have also learned over the last 15 years how to discuss, frame, and explore it. While this lived experience and learning is what underlies my work, the reality is that the exploration of one’s identity is never done and I too will be joining you on this journey. Yes, at times this exploration can feel like a struggle AND it’s where growth happens. In other words, it’s exactly what I want to be doing—assisting others to Love Yourself like a Mother! with Intentional Justice

Tell me, how, if at all, have you considered identity in your life? Share in the comments below…

In lovelution…





If you’re interested in learning more about identity, then I’d love for YOU to join me at my upcoming Intentional Justice Mindset Talks premiering in Kansas City (my hometown) on Saturday, May 20th and Sunday, May 21st. Click the links below for more details…

P.S. Do you know someone who could benefit from this post? Please share the love!

My Mama Truth: Love Yourself Like a Mother with Intentional Justice™

As a guest on the Mama Truth Show, I share about the profound impact the themes of Intentional Justice™ and Identity have had on her life and the life of her daughter. You’ll love hearing about Mama J recommends we treat justice inside our families and how loving yourself like a mother is key to it all. You can download and listen to the episode on iTunes or watch the recorded video below…


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