Category: Mama Musings (page 1 of 5)

💕 Turning My Angst Toward the Lovelution 💕 #WhyIMarch ✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾3 Steps of Intentional Justice to Speak Y(OUR) Truth

As I sit to write this post about #WhyIMarch, I am aware and acknowledge that I have been silent on this platform–the place I call home to connect my current musings for all things love + intention when it comes to loving, learning, and living in Berkeley/Oakland, CA since my Post-Election Invitation.

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3 Steps of Intention Justice™ to Speak Y(OUR) Truth

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Beloved community is formed not by eradication of difference, but by its affirmation, by each of us claiming the identities and cultural legacies that shape who we are and how we live in the world. -bell hooks

Dear Loved Ones…

From besties to followers, this is to YOU!
From near to far, this is to YOU!
From friends to foe, this is to YOU!
To ALL are family, this is to YOU!


I am…

✔️Black ✊🏽
✔️Queer ️‍🌈
✔️Mama 👧🏽
✔️Mixed Race Family 💕✊🏽✊🏽✊🏻💕

Saturday, January 21, 2017 marked a new starting line.

A day in which millions of women + girls: grandmas + mothers + daughters + sisters + aunties + boys + men allies took to the streets to have our voice heard and our physical presence seen in major and rural cities around the U.S. and the world. In fact, take a look for yourself and use it as a reminder of how powerful we are together on those days when your faith may waver. Amazing, right?

Just as quickly as my family marked our calendar to “hit the streets” that day, I was reminded of a when Jaylin was first born less than two and half years ago when a presumed safe protest didn’t even feel like an option with a newborn. As you will recall, Tamir Rice was shot by a police officer after carrying a toy gun in Ohio on November 23, 2014. This just on the heels of the deaths of Eric Garner, John Crawford, Michael Brown, and Laquan McDonald at the hands of police officers, so folks took to the streets. Now in hindsight, we can see these markers of tragedy and dissent as the formation of what we now know as the Black Lives Matter movement.

Fast forward 6 months to June 2016…

The Orlando shooting happen AND our entire country was rocked to our core to has been labeled as the deadliest mass shooting in U.S. history. As a Black queer mama of a two-mom family, this incident hit too close to home. Here’s what I shared back in July with the Mama Mindset tribe:

While I was taking this small, deliberate action each day, my world / our country was shaken with the Orlando shooting as my birthday week was coming to a close. I’m still figuring out how to put into words the roller coaster of feelings felt as details and stories surfaced. With each one, it became clear how easy that could have been my wife and I just a few short years ago. There’s a lot I could say and yet none of my thoughts are formulating into readable sentences, so politics aside, I hope you’ll take a moment to read the poem I wrote: LOVE feels like a Revolution

Here’s what I know for sure: Prior to the Orlando shooting, I had this grand vision of how my family and I would spend SF Pride. And then, I began second-guessing any public event with large crowds. I mean, we now had someone bigger than ourselves to protect–Jaylin. Yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I / we would allow one person focused on hate to put me / us back in the closet during one of my favorite SF weekends of the year.

While my wife and I teetered back and forth on what was best for our family, ultimately, we choose to march with a contingency of queer families. This act of Intentional Justice wholeheartedly was a reminder of how many millions of people support not just the LGBTQ community, yet also my / our families. It was electrifying and emotional walking down Market Street hand-in-hand with my wife as I carried Jaylin (and at one point, breastfeeding! #MamaJuggle ♥ )

Click here to view my favorite candid captured from the day.

I share this because the Women’s March in Oakland was not the first time my family and I had taken to the streets, so I’ll end where I began–Saturday, January 21, 2017 marked a new starting line.

Beyond Identity Politics

Since the transformational experience of writing an autoethnography for my master’s thesis, I have been grounded in intersecting dimensions of my identity–I am a Black queer mamapreneur and wife, daughter, sister and friend. I am comfortable naming these aspects of myself because it allows for a reclaiming while being upfront on my positionality. In solidarity with the Women’s March Unity Principles, “Recognizing women have Women Rise Upintersecting identities and are therefore impacted by a multitude of social justice and human rights issues, we have outlined a representative vision for a government that is based on the principles of liberty and justice for all. As Dr. King said, ‘We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall always march ahead. We cannot turn back.’ Our liberation is bound in each other’s.”

In the days following the march, I have been drawing on the strength of the millions women and girls, men and boys, and families who took the streets and the countless more who there in spirit or virtually supporting. With that energy comes momentum, momentum to speak Speak Y(OUR) Truth. Not sure what that looks like? Well, here are…

3 Steps of Intentional Justice™ to Soeak Y(OUR) Truth:

  1. Add Your D.C. Officials (your House Rep + Senators) to Your Contacts 📇📲Took less than 5 minutes. They need to hear from YOU 📞☎️
  2. Set a reminder (daily/weekly) to call ⏰
  3. Learn more about the Women’s March Unity Principles and pick your Top 3 issues.

Need Some Inspiration?

What follows are the Top 3 Issues I will be focusing on during the coming weeks and months of 2017.

  1. womensmarch-imarchforENDING VIOLENCE: “Women deserve to live full and healthy lives, free of all forms of violence against our bodies. We believe in accountability and justice in cases of police brutality and ending racial profiling and targeting of communities of color. It is our moral imperative to dismantle the gender and racial inequities within the criminal justice system.”
  2. REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS: “We believe in Reproductive Freedom. We do not accept any federal, state or local rollbacks, cuts or restrictions on our ability to access quality reproductive healthcare services, birth control, HIV/AIDS care and prevention, or medically accurate sexuality education. This means open access to safe, legal, affordable abortion and birth control for all people, regardless of income, location or education.”
  3. WORKER’S RIGHTS: “We believe in an economy powered by transparency, accountability, security and equity. All women should be paid equitably, with access to affordable childcare, sick days, healthcare, paid family leave, and healthy work environments. All workers – including domestic and farm workers, undocumented and migrant workers – must have the right to organize and fight for a living minimum wage.”

Download the Women’s March Unity Principles Full PDF

Thank YOU in advance for raising your voice!

I’d love to know…Why YOU did or did not march? Please share your thoughts below in the comments…

In lovelution…

mama j

Today I Rise with Lessons Learned ?

Today I rise with lessons learned ? MamaMindsetMay2016 ? Day 9: #Mamapreneur || My “Come on, Jillian, Pull It Together” Face ?
MamaMindsetMay2016 ?  Day 9: #Mamapreneur || My “Come on, Jillian, Pull It Together” Face ?
Not gonna lie, yesterday was a struggle for this #Mama + #Entrepreneur ? Tears were shed ? Limiting beliefs returned ?? Fears + truths spoken ? What I know for sure is each day brings a new opportunity to give my best and intentionally pause to make choices of self-love + intent ?
#mamajugglestruggle #momlife #lovelutionmama #mamapreneur #mompreneur #wfhm #SelfLove via Instagram

Live The Life You Want Series || Part 1: Our Then ❤ Nearing our Due Date

A 5-Part Series on Birth, Transitioning to Mamahood + the #MamaJuggleStruggle to Define the Next Chapter

Using the takeaways from the inspirational + pivotal weekend of Oprah’s live event leading into the homebirth of my daughter, Jaylin Jackson, I reflect back on the journey that led to molding my own Mama Mindset as Mama J. Love ♥

It was mid-November 2014…

Friday, November 14th to be exact. When I hit the pause button on my then self-employment / entrepreneur journey (a definite privilege that I don’t take lightly thanks to CA Paid Family Leave) just about a week shy of Thanksgiving and on the brink of winter. Like the shifting season and chapter of my life, I had invited my then biz tribe–Team Justice–to turn inward as I was doing the same in preparation for my desired home birth of Baby Z (what we then called our daughter who’s gender–perceived status of M/F–was unknown at the time). In doing so, I allowed myself to DREAM about the next chapter of my ideal life as a mama…

What will 2015 hold? How do I want to feel?

Is this different than what I wanted to feel a year ago?

How can I help others do the same and live authentically?

The-Life-You-Imagine-300x284Re-reading these questions now almost 18 months later, I can take myself right back to how I was feeling with so much unknown when I asked myself these questions. Yet, what I knew for sure then and can see so clearly now is that on the weekend before our daughter was born, the opportunity of a lifetime presented itself (or in my Oprah-lovin’ opinion): a serendipitous gift–free attendance (shout out to the awesome mamas that gifted the tickets) to Oprah’s Live the Life You Want Weekend in San Jose, CA.

This set the stage for what has been an incredible and transformative time of magic, unmeasurable learning and growth, bliss, making loads of decisions or what I prefer as intentional choices, piles of dishes, trying out services and systems to add ease, and endless love. Love infused choices that have led to powerful intentions.

In our 20s, we called it “Stepping Up to the Plate.” A way to own and take responsibility for breaking free from own intergenerational baggage (or at least try our darnest) as we healed childhood and past relationship wounds prior to starting a family. Now, a 30 something (I’ll be 34 next month) and…

Where are we now?

img_1637.jpgA dozen years deep. Reflecting on choices we made a decade ago to move to the Bay Area and reside in Berkeley, CA. Those choices infused with what then felt like colorless love and intentions that led to the greatest gift from our love, our daughter, Jaylin Jackson Roth. Our intentional path towards queer mamahood is giving us an opportunity to change the narrative. We are a transracial queer family. Far from the norm.

It’s simply to say that love is all it takes to create a human and expand your family. When I stop to think about the conception journey of those in our LGBTQ community, the love and intention enacted is mindblowing. There are countless paths to parenthood. Countless. Each of our journeys’ is unique can be unconventional, a struggle, or exactly how you planned. The point is this…

During the process, I believe we learn to be the mama of our own soul. Figuring out who we are, discovering our why, and speaking our truth as we birth…

Children. Our dreams. Our biz.

Major life transitions that led us to our core. Our heart. At the core, love is love.

Love is Love: My Core Message

It’s my core message. I claimed it here on my personal Instagram account when I paused from listening to a biz webinar back in the spring of 2014 while entering data in a job that rarely pushed me and overtime had me feeling pretty small as a young professional. In learning, supporting, and doing the work, I struggled with and against the oppression felt and experienced as a junior staff member and graduate student. All while observing the culture of how growing a family would or could be supported. Juxtapose this reality with the fact that the job was also a “stable” gig (a 9 to 5 with a bi-monthly payday) that provided space for this lovely transformation to unfold. In so many ways it was a dream scenario: a flexible schedule with an easy commute to a local small liberal arts college. What I knew in my heart then (and later came to be true) is that my job would end later that summer just like I was cautioned that it might when it began.

Choosing Love

While I chronicled the beginning of this self-employed journey (see my 2014 #Vlogtober YouTube playlist) during my third trimester, the opportunity to step fully into my divine power begin the night my wife, Baby Z, and I chose love.

Love for self. Love for Stephanie. Love for our unknown child. Love for our life. Love for our community. Love for the intentional journey we set into motion when we began our commitment to one another now 12 years ago. This commitment of same-sex interracial love included a vision of changing the narrative and shifting the paradigm as we entered motherhood. Now dubbed: Intentional Justice in the House, which at its core still involves stepping up to the plate.

So when the urge to nest was strong. We threw all reason aside the week before Baby Z’s due date, and drove 90 minutes away from my birth sanctuary to envision our future life and explore how to live the life we wanted each day with the one and only, Oprah. At this point, our fate was sealed. We were expecting a baby. The gender unknown. By choice. Home prepped for birth. By choice.

5ish hours prior to my water breaking!

5ish hours prior to my water breaking!

All this is to say, little did we know (hmm…hello that’s how the universe works!! *wink, wink*) that in about 72 hours after this incredibly inspirational weekend that Stephanie (my wife + mommy + fellow adventure-seeker) and I would start our next chapter and meet our FIERCE, enchanting, sensitive, lover, and light of a soul scorpio–Jaylin Jackson Roth.

Coming next Sun, 5/8 (Mother’s Day)…

Part 2: The 3 Night + 3 Day Journey to Meeting Our Daughter



Wanna Pause & Envision the Life YOU Want?
Check out the
Summation Mediation
from Oprah’s 2014 Live the Life You Want Tour:

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