Category: Jillybeads 4 Justice (page 1 of 7)

How Do You Want to Feel?

This post is a slight departure in hopes of inspiring you to turn inward. As I embrace the last days and weeks of my first pregnancy while anticipating the start of my next chapter—motherhood, let’s talk about your life.

Do you feel free? Joyful? Connected? The Life You Imagine

Most importantly, does your life feel the way you want it to feel?

When I read The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte for the first time, I was focused on outlining and achieving my next set of accomplishments instead of creating a life based on how I wanted to feel each day or when my goal(s) were achieved. In fact, I initially stumbled across Danielle LaPorte’s The Fire Stater Sessions in my quest for online entrepreneur resources. I was immediately hooked by her upfront and authentic prose, so I signed up for email updates.

Fast forward a few months later and this led to me purchasing the initial Desire Map program on NYE 2012, which was fitting since this is when Danielle came up with the process a decade earlier. This purchase solidified my desire to change my relationship to goals in 2013. This was HUGE considering goal-setting has personally been an annual NYE tradition since around the age of 10. While I worked through the process individually and ultimately landed on 5-7 CDFs that first year (2013), it wasn’t until I led a DM Book Club earlier this year (2014) that the power of the process was undeniable. I document my process in these two blog posts:

Needless to say, The Desire Map was the catalyst for the change I needed.

I now feel…open and spacious. To my heart’s desire. Ease and relaxed. Regarding my to-dos. Overall, peace and calm.

This book isn’t just intellectual theory. It actually walks you through the process of practically (+ soulfully) creating a life that you actually want to live, connected to people, experiences and things that you actually want to be connected to.

It seems so obvious, right?  Of course! My life should feel good!

But the thing is, so many of us aren’t living that way. We’re fixated on what others think we should do. We’re pushing ourselves to meet someone else’s expectations of The Great Mom, The Successful Businesswoman, The Patient Wife or The Forgiving Friend.

In all that striving and achieving to meet other people’s expectations, a lot of us have lost ourselves. For a while, I did. The Desire Map snapped me out of it and got me back on my own life track, moving towards a future that feels right for me. And because of the profound impact desire mapping has had on my life, I want to sing about this work from the rooftops. I want you to have this opportunity to reclaim your life too, which is why…

When I heard that Danielle was creating a Licensing program so that people could teach this material, I was one of the first people waving my arms at the front of the line. Because I truly believe that advocating authenticity and educating social justice is actually “healing our souls” work. And now…

I have a process to help guide such work that I know firsthand works. This is why I’m thrilled to announce that not only am I an official Desire Map Licensee (cue the confetti!) that I have also begun preparations to host my first virtual Desire Map Workshop in February/March 2015 with in-person retreats beginning shortly after.

If you’d like to join me, click here for more details.

http://jillybeads4justice.com/desire-map/

It’s never too late to live a life that feels good. A life that you consciously choose and design, based on your own core desired feelings. I’d like to help you uncover those feelings so you can start building a life that helps you generate them not just ever so often…EVERY day!!!

Much love,
Jillian Sig with Heart

About Me Image_Oct 2014

 

 

 

P.S. I will truly miss writing these bi-monthly blog posts while I step back and enter the next amazing chapter of life. Just know that while I may be silent in this format that I’ll be dreaming, reflecting, and planning ways to share with you in 2015!


Already deeply in love with The Desire Map? Want to become a Desire Map Facilitator?

The beautiful thing about facilitating The Desire Map process is that every facilitator approaches it from their unique perspective, using their unique story, and bringing their unique flavor. There is room for all of us who are called to lead this work—democracy in full effect. If you’re already familiar with The Desire Map and you want to lead your own soulful workshops and retreats (or fold Desire Map into your existing coaching, counseling, or yoga business): Follow this link to learn more about The Desire Map Licensing Program.

Full disclosure: This is an affiliate link. If you follow through with the purchase of a license (or product through the above links), I receive credit as the person who brought you into the Desire Map community of licensees. If you ask me, it’s simply savvy business and beautiful karma.

Love-ing the World

Leading a Path of Intentional Choices: 5 Things I Know 4 Sure Right NowLove the World

It’s hard to believe that October is almost a wrap and we’re days away from November. While I have enjoyed being in front of the camera to share my daily musings on this journey of self-employed motherhood (check out my 2014 #Vlogtober Playlist), it’s a nice reprieve to pause and put my thoughts down on paper.

When I started my self-employment journey in September, I had grandiose visions of all that I would accomplish. How I would structure my day in order to get the most done now that each minute and hour was mine to fill. Fast forward almost two months later and I have moved into a daily experience of bliss that equates to flow, ease, and simplicity. That’s not to say there are days in which certain things need to be done (e.g. submitting my unemployment insurance claim or figuring out our budget for the coming week), yet I have managed to find an equilibrium, a calm, a serenity that works for me.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m quite aware how this will likely all change the moment Baby Z arrives and that’s okay. In fact, I welcome the transition. As I mentioned in Day #15/16/17 Part 1 and Part 2, I’m in a state of Radical Transition, a neutral zone of sorts, that is shifting daily as Baby Z gets bigger and my wife & I get closer to Z’s impending Birth Day. That said, I thought I’d share…

5 Things I Know 4 Sure Right Now:

  1. There’s power in recording your daily thoughts weather you share them publicly or not. Take the time to write them down or a record a short video that you can return to later. By doing so, you’re capturing a moment in time—how you feel, what you’re doing and thinking about.
  2. Gratitude begets gratitude. When you can focus on what’s working, then it becomes more clear what you should do to continue that feeling. Click 2 Tweet: “Gratitude begets gratitude” @Jillian4Justice
  3. Procrastination works as a form of motivation (at least for me). I find inspiration in a deadline. And sometimes things are meant to come to life under pressure. Just like diamonds. 
  4. Feeling accomplished daily is a core desired feeling. Although I’m not sure how this gels with my definition of or desire for bliss, this is my new conundrum to uncover.
  5. There’s still confusion about what services I offer and what I do.

In response to the last bullet point, this has undoubtedly been the journey of the last year—to get clear on my vision for Jillybeads 4 Justice and how I can best use my passion, knowledge, and skills to best serve, change, or…better yet, LOVE the world. As such, this is what I’ve settled on as I prepare to sign-off for a three and half month maternity leave, which will begin on Wednesday, November 12th when you receive my last planned newsletter/blog post of 2014.

In 2015…

Using the current mission of Jillybeads 4 Justice of “Advocate & Educate, all while Accessorizing!” I will be:

 Advocating Authenticity & Educating Social Justice, 

all while Creating Handcrafted Jewelry to Accessorize Your Life.

In other words, I now see myself as a…

Mindset Coach + Social Justice Educator + Artist.

The movement I am creating is a LOVELUTION.

Join the Lovelution + Team Justice here.

I will let this marinate…

AND please share your thoughts and questions in the comments below.

Stay tuned for the next installment of Justice Happenings (aka blog post on Thurs, 11/13) where I will share more of what I’m planning to offer in the New Year.  In the meantime, don’t forget to download the Team Justice Primer here or checkout My Channel on YouTube.

http://bit.ly/TeamJusticePrimer

www.youtube.com/Jillybeads4Justice

With love + gratitude,

Jillian Sig with Heart

 

Too Close to Home: Thoughts on Domestic Violence, the NFL & Much More…

I am a survivor of domestic violence.

What follows are my thoughts based on such an identity, position, and worldview.

While the physical scars have long faded, it’s undeniable that the emotional and psychological scars that remain. Specifically, I know all too well what fear feels like on a regular basis. The out of your control ambiguity causing you to be hyper-aware and make decisions of your every word and action to not set the other person off, which can be a constant moving target. As a child growing up in this environment it often felt like a carousel of highs, lows, and so-so moments all in one day or week. Now after various forms of therapy (I cannot emphasize enough the importance of mental health and how addressing my own has aided in my intentional-driven life that I now frame as a lovelution.), this cycle of violence felt more like a hamster wheel that I could never get off until it came time for me to leave for college when I finally felt in control, free, and safe.

While this is the first time I have written publicly about this dimension of my identity, I can no longer remain silent about a topic—domestic violence—that is too close to home. I was hopeful when our country was highlighting (though in a sensationalized way) the intersection of entertainment, masculinity, and violence just a few weeks ago. However, in the time that it has taken me to gather my thoughts, it seems the gravity of the various situations that have surfaced have since faded with the official start of the NFL season.

Ultraviolet_Response to Ceelo GreenEven though the emphasis has been placed on the microcosm of sport and specifically, the NFL; about a month ago, the focus was on Singer-songwriter CeeLo Green and his outrageous tweets justifying rape. Since I will not give space for the misogyny of women here on this blog, I will instead share the UltraViolet info-graphic to continue to raise awareness.

The point is that women (and girls) are under attack not just in the U.S., yet sadly, worldwide. Thank goodness there are intelligent and powerful women (e.g. Oprah, Lisa Ling, Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Chimanada Adiche, and the list could go on…) that have and continue to bring voice to this continued cultural and societal norm. All of this is to say, I feel uniquely positioned to weigh in on this current scenario involving sport and domestic violence.

For those unfamiliar with the series of events that have led to Ray Rice’s indefinite suspension, I recommend viewing this timeline.

Janay Rice Instagram Statement_140910

Click to read

First off, my hats off to Jason Whitlock*, who’s commentary—Airing Rice video assaults wife again—got it right in terms of the media’s role in creating the nightmare that Janay Rice (wife and then fiancé of Ray Rice) mentions in her recent Instagram post. I start here because reading his words and in particular, those shared by a friend of his, who also identifies as a survivor, finally put into words what I struggled to name days or even months ago when the first video of the incident was released.

Although I cannot begin to understand the experience of why as women we often choose to stay in these scenarios for indefinitely or far too long [see #WhyIStayed for further insight], I recognize without judgment that the complexity of self-esteem, shame, control, guilt, trust, blame, and love is difficult to untangle. This is what I see when I read Janay’s statement. I feel a deep sadness for her, not just in what she and so many experience, yet that it’s all playing out publicly.

Seeing these videos triggered for me a replay of my own experiences of observing and experiencing violence at the hands of my father. I know all too well that the system is full of red-tape and that a formal charge is not needed to validate or end the experience of violence. In fact, often from my experience involving the police just fueled the fire for the cycle of shame, guilt, and control to continue. While I’m still undecided if it’s our employer’s responsibility to hold us accountable for our personal actions resulting in disciplinary actions, I can’t help but pause knowing that San Francisco 49ers player Ray McDonald will be able to continue to play with no consequences until charges are made for allegedly beating his pregnant wife (see the latest here).

What?! Sigh…

I recognize I have mentioned only two of the prominent incidents that have recently surfaced and that such cases are not mutually exclusive with professional football players. The truth is that I’ve been feeling quite ambivalent about football (and professional sports in general) even prior to these recent events. And now, I have even more reason to not spend my precious time watching football and showing my support of the NFL, which is the same sentiment I shared when the Oakland Raiders called me about purchasing tickets this season.

Instead I advocate for the NFL (as well as ALL while, male and economically-privileged professional sport organizations and owners) to use their social position and economic power to assist in shifting the public’s thinking to create a form of restorative justice—that focuses on the rehabilitation of offenders/perpetrators (guilty or alleged) through reconciliation with victims and the community at large—versus turning a blind eye on the topic (see article). I share the sentiments of my friend Sheneka Williams, who recently posted the following comment on Facebook:

I will advocate for the NFL to examine the correlation between aggression and their players. I will also advocate for therapy for NFL players who have deep rooted issues. These issues are prevalent in childhood, but they are ignored because of the individual’s athletic skills. We see this every day in Little League. So, let’s take this back to K-12…

That said, I WILL choose to boycott the NFL this season, who in my mind has made a clear stance of protecting women’s breasts (just think about their clearly visible support of breast cancer) over the physical safety of women (and those who are associated with their organization, yet fail to bring them a profit). I recognize this might seem like an oversimplification, yet the point is we all have a choice as citizens and consumers of the world what and who we will support in our everyday action.

 Click 2 Tweet:
In the end, there’s always a choice. ~ Unknown

What will you choose?

Please share your comments below and TAKE ACTION: Sign UltraViolet’s petition asking for key NFL Sponsors to drop their support!

In solidarity,

Jillian Sig with Heart

 

 

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