Category: Be Courageously Bold

How Do You Want to Feel?

This post is a slight departure in hopes of inspiring you to turn inward. As I embrace the last days and weeks of my first pregnancy while anticipating the start of my next chapter—motherhood, let’s talk about your life.

Do you feel free? Joyful? Connected? The Life You Imagine

Most importantly, does your life feel the way you want it to feel?

When I read The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte for the first time, I was focused on outlining and achieving my next set of accomplishments instead of creating a life based on how I wanted to feel each day or when my goal(s) were achieved. In fact, I initially stumbled across Danielle LaPorte’s The Fire Stater Sessions in my quest for online entrepreneur resources. I was immediately hooked by her upfront and authentic prose, so I signed up for email updates.

Fast forward a few months later and this led to me purchasing the initial Desire Map program on NYE 2012, which was fitting since this is when Danielle came up with the process a decade earlier. This purchase solidified my desire to change my relationship to goals in 2013. This was HUGE considering goal-setting has personally been an annual NYE tradition since around the age of 10. While I worked through the process individually and ultimately landed on 5-7 CDFs that first year (2013), it wasn’t until I led a DM Book Club earlier this year (2014) that the power of the process was undeniable. I document my process in these two blog posts:

Needless to say, The Desire Map was the catalyst for the change I needed.

I now feel…open and spacious. To my heart’s desire. Ease and relaxed. Regarding my to-dos. Overall, peace and calm.

This book isn’t just intellectual theory. It actually walks you through the process of practically (+ soulfully) creating a life that you actually want to live, connected to people, experiences and things that you actually want to be connected to.

It seems so obvious, right?  Of course! My life should feel good!

But the thing is, so many of us aren’t living that way. We’re fixated on what others think we should do. We’re pushing ourselves to meet someone else’s expectations of The Great Mom, The Successful Businesswoman, The Patient Wife or The Forgiving Friend.

In all that striving and achieving to meet other people’s expectations, a lot of us have lost ourselves. For a while, I did. The Desire Map snapped me out of it and got me back on my own life track, moving towards a future that feels right for me. And because of the profound impact desire mapping has had on my life, I want to sing about this work from the rooftops. I want you to have this opportunity to reclaim your life too, which is why…

When I heard that Danielle was creating a Licensing program so that people could teach this material, I was one of the first people waving my arms at the front of the line. Because I truly believe that advocating authenticity and educating social justice is actually “healing our souls” work. And now…

I have a process to help guide such work that I know firsthand works. This is why I’m thrilled to announce that not only am I an official Desire Map Licensee (cue the confetti!) that I have also begun preparations to host my first virtual Desire Map Workshop in February/March 2015 with in-person retreats beginning shortly after.

If you’d like to join me, click here for more details.

http://jillybeads4justice.com/desire-map/

It’s never too late to live a life that feels good. A life that you consciously choose and design, based on your own core desired feelings. I’d like to help you uncover those feelings so you can start building a life that helps you generate them not just ever so often…EVERY day!!!

Much love,
Jillian Sig with Heart

About Me Image_Oct 2014

 

 

 

P.S. I will truly miss writing these bi-monthly blog posts while I step back and enter the next amazing chapter of life. Just know that while I may be silent in this format that I’ll be dreaming, reflecting, and planning ways to share with you in 2015!


Already deeply in love with The Desire Map? Want to become a Desire Map Facilitator?

The beautiful thing about facilitating The Desire Map process is that every facilitator approaches it from their unique perspective, using their unique story, and bringing their unique flavor. There is room for all of us who are called to lead this work—democracy in full effect. If you’re already familiar with The Desire Map and you want to lead your own soulful workshops and retreats (or fold Desire Map into your existing coaching, counseling, or yoga business): Follow this link to learn more about The Desire Map Licensing Program.

Full disclosure: This is an affiliate link. If you follow through with the purchase of a license (or product through the above links), I receive credit as the person who brought you into the Desire Map community of licensees. If you ask me, it’s simply savvy business and beautiful karma.

Too Close to Home: Thoughts on Domestic Violence, the NFL & Much More…

I am a survivor of domestic violence.

What follows are my thoughts based on such an identity, position, and worldview.

While the physical scars have long faded, it’s undeniable that the emotional and psychological scars that remain. Specifically, I know all too well what fear feels like on a regular basis. The out of your control ambiguity causing you to be hyper-aware and make decisions of your every word and action to not set the other person off, which can be a constant moving target. As a child growing up in this environment it often felt like a carousel of highs, lows, and so-so moments all in one day or week. Now after various forms of therapy (I cannot emphasize enough the importance of mental health and how addressing my own has aided in my intentional-driven life that I now frame as a lovelution.), this cycle of violence felt more like a hamster wheel that I could never get off until it came time for me to leave for college when I finally felt in control, free, and safe.

While this is the first time I have written publicly about this dimension of my identity, I can no longer remain silent about a topic—domestic violence—that is too close to home. I was hopeful when our country was highlighting (though in a sensationalized way) the intersection of entertainment, masculinity, and violence just a few weeks ago. However, in the time that it has taken me to gather my thoughts, it seems the gravity of the various situations that have surfaced have since faded with the official start of the NFL season.

Ultraviolet_Response to Ceelo GreenEven though the emphasis has been placed on the microcosm of sport and specifically, the NFL; about a month ago, the focus was on Singer-songwriter CeeLo Green and his outrageous tweets justifying rape. Since I will not give space for the misogyny of women here on this blog, I will instead share the UltraViolet info-graphic to continue to raise awareness.

The point is that women (and girls) are under attack not just in the U.S., yet sadly, worldwide. Thank goodness there are intelligent and powerful women (e.g. Oprah, Lisa Ling, Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Chimanada Adiche, and the list could go on…) that have and continue to bring voice to this continued cultural and societal norm. All of this is to say, I feel uniquely positioned to weigh in on this current scenario involving sport and domestic violence.

For those unfamiliar with the series of events that have led to Ray Rice’s indefinite suspension, I recommend viewing this timeline.

Janay Rice Instagram Statement_140910

Click to read

First off, my hats off to Jason Whitlock*, who’s commentary—Airing Rice video assaults wife again—got it right in terms of the media’s role in creating the nightmare that Janay Rice (wife and then fiancé of Ray Rice) mentions in her recent Instagram post. I start here because reading his words and in particular, those shared by a friend of his, who also identifies as a survivor, finally put into words what I struggled to name days or even months ago when the first video of the incident was released.

Although I cannot begin to understand the experience of why as women we often choose to stay in these scenarios for indefinitely or far too long [see #WhyIStayed for further insight], I recognize without judgment that the complexity of self-esteem, shame, control, guilt, trust, blame, and love is difficult to untangle. This is what I see when I read Janay’s statement. I feel a deep sadness for her, not just in what she and so many experience, yet that it’s all playing out publicly.

Seeing these videos triggered for me a replay of my own experiences of observing and experiencing violence at the hands of my father. I know all too well that the system is full of red-tape and that a formal charge is not needed to validate or end the experience of violence. In fact, often from my experience involving the police just fueled the fire for the cycle of shame, guilt, and control to continue. While I’m still undecided if it’s our employer’s responsibility to hold us accountable for our personal actions resulting in disciplinary actions, I can’t help but pause knowing that San Francisco 49ers player Ray McDonald will be able to continue to play with no consequences until charges are made for allegedly beating his pregnant wife (see the latest here).

What?! Sigh…

I recognize I have mentioned only two of the prominent incidents that have recently surfaced and that such cases are not mutually exclusive with professional football players. The truth is that I’ve been feeling quite ambivalent about football (and professional sports in general) even prior to these recent events. And now, I have even more reason to not spend my precious time watching football and showing my support of the NFL, which is the same sentiment I shared when the Oakland Raiders called me about purchasing tickets this season.

Instead I advocate for the NFL (as well as ALL while, male and economically-privileged professional sport organizations and owners) to use their social position and economic power to assist in shifting the public’s thinking to create a form of restorative justice—that focuses on the rehabilitation of offenders/perpetrators (guilty or alleged) through reconciliation with victims and the community at large—versus turning a blind eye on the topic (see article). I share the sentiments of my friend Sheneka Williams, who recently posted the following comment on Facebook:

I will advocate for the NFL to examine the correlation between aggression and their players. I will also advocate for therapy for NFL players who have deep rooted issues. These issues are prevalent in childhood, but they are ignored because of the individual’s athletic skills. We see this every day in Little League. So, let’s take this back to K-12…

That said, I WILL choose to boycott the NFL this season, who in my mind has made a clear stance of protecting women’s breasts (just think about their clearly visible support of breast cancer) over the physical safety of women (and those who are associated with their organization, yet fail to bring them a profit). I recognize this might seem like an oversimplification, yet the point is we all have a choice as citizens and consumers of the world what and who we will support in our everyday action.

 Click 2 Tweet:
In the end, there’s always a choice. ~ Unknown

What will you choose?

Please share your comments below and TAKE ACTION: Sign UltraViolet’s petition asking for key NFL Sponsors to drop their support!

In solidarity,

Jillian Sig with Heart

 

 

Putting on the Brakes: Redefining Self

 In the power to change yourself…
is the power to change the world around you. ~Anwar Sadaf Click 2 Tweet

What a difference two weeks make!!

I have openly shared here about my current experience with transition. In particular, my preparation for two major life events—moving from full-time employment to self-employment while counting down the weeks until I become mama to my first child. I am exhilarated by them both, yet last week was a different story. While I continue to have an optimistic outlook on my future thanks to my core desired feelings that are inspiring what I’m now naming and claiming as my intentional-driven life (thanks a recent Mastermind for which I participated!), I also want to honor the days that are tough and the doubt that creeps in for a temporary visit to replay the negative, self-deprecating stories my inner critic—Yolanda—likes to tell me. Here’s a window into those thoughts:

It’s noon on a Friday and I should be ecstatic I have nowhere I need to be and absolute control of my time, yet I’m feeling unnecessarily frustrated, annoyed, overwhelmed, and not sure what to do next. Earlier this week, I released the pressure I had put on myself to launch my first eCourse on Monday, October 6th*. I didn’t make this decision lightly as I wanted to stay true to my word while honoring this special time in my life that’s currently taking place. Juxtapose those desires with the dream and reality of now being a full-time biz owner, and I saw the writing on the wall that despite all my best efforts to make Discover Your Authentic Sweet Spot happen that failure and disappointment likely lay ahead.

I ended up sitting with this reflection for a bit and ultimately was prompted to reach out to a friend, who informed me that she woke up with me in her head saying, “Embrace Ease.” Oh, the irony! This friendly reminder helped me to break my self-inflicted case of taking myself to0 seriously with laughter was the turning point in beginning to pull myself out of my funk. I ended up taking my own advice (see 5 Keys to Embracing Your Personal Lovelution) by enacting #3: Listen to Your Body and got out of the house to enjoy the beautiful day, the calm of the SF Bay, and the joy that comes from my dog, Badger, running freely off-leash.

Embrace Mantra_Take #2The change in scenery allowed me to gain a fresh perspective and create my own personal mantra that combines both my life and business desires, which I would like to share with you (see image to the right). I share this personal insight in hopes that it serves as just one example of riding the wave of emotions while still in transition. 

I would love to hear your thoughts on how you manage transition below in the comments.

One Love,

Jillian Sig with Heart

 

 

 

P.S. In case you missed my two poems on love, check them out along with audio versions for download here!


* After some tough self-talk about the feasibility of launching on the original date, I have decided to postpone the launch until 2015. Nonetheless, it’s not earlier to learn more about the eCourse, so please sign-up here to receive more information as it’s available.